July 9, 2009

Quick Rant: Creepy Winkers

A knowing wink can be cute, when it's from the right guy. Today a strange bearded man on a motorcycle thought he was being super suave and winked at me. I easily made the worst face on the planet at him. NOT COOL. It's the same face I make when I smell the women's restroom at Macy's on Black Friday. Sorry for that mental image, but I couldn't help it! A wink from a stranger almost always comes off as creepy. Not a new skool kind of creepy--like he's going to lurk on your blog and riddle your page with inane comments--but an old timey kind of creepy, like the last time that wink worked was when a cup of coffee cost a nickel.

Men of Philadelphia: if you aren't somehow comparable in looks to the Fonz, please do us a favor and keep both eyes open or closed simultaneously. When you wink at me, I don't feel a flutter; I reach for my mace.

8 comments:

haveboard said...

Men of Philadelphia can never live up to the standards of this blog. Next you'll post about how someone DIDN'T wink at you. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Anna said...

Obviously, you have never been a girl. There is a difference between flirty/awesome winks and creepy winks from nutjobs on the street. We do not have high standards. Believe me, if anything, my standards are too low.

bianca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lora said...

I'd take a haveboard wink with that beard. I think that there are many categories of winks. Last night at work an old crush came in to visit and winked a very welcomed wink. Later in the night some weird guy did the same thing (although it may have been a drunken twitch in his eye) and he just made me feel gross.

Jon Asher said...

But what am I supposed to do to accompany the finger guns? They would feel so half-assed without the wink.

Liza said...

well... honestly... if that hot hot hot guy behind the camera at woodshop films had winked at me... it wouldn't have taken us a year to start dating... just sayin'

Anna said...

Liza, we obviously approve of hot guys winking at us. It's the unhot ones that make us do a full body shudder. That's just physics.

Anonymous said...

I have to say the creepiest is the 2 handed pistol shot - friend from hs uncle did this all the time - totally creepy!

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