July 9, 2009

Unscientific Poll: Invite Confusion

Guys, bros, men: I have a question for you. When you invite a girl to your dj night/ show/ concert/ house party are you inviting them because you specifically want them there or because you just want as many bodies there as you can get?

Personally, I can never tell. If a guy I like invites me to hear his band play, I usually don't go because I don't want to seem like a groupie. In fact, I avoided this one guy's band for FOUR YEARS because I thought about how ridiculous I'd feel if I showed up and he had a line of girls waiting to talk to him after his "gig." What. am I gonna wait in line to talk to him like I'm in a Mr. Big song? Fuck that!

Is this flawed logic? Am I totally misreading it? Weigh in!

9 comments:

Jon Asher said...

Don't ask me. I once went on two full dates before I was informed they weren't actually dates after all. Probably safest to just ask.

Dennis said...

I'm not a DJ, but I used to do photography in the music industry. I started out in clubs. So... here's how you MIGHT know.

Go, and if he invites you to the VIP area or to hang out by the booth, you're in. If you're IN the booth, then you're beyond in. I don't suggest going in w/o an invite or lingering if you do get it.

Also - did he ask you or include you in a mass email/facebook/tweet/etc? Are you on the list, so not paying cover? I could keep going.

Anna said...

I've had all of the above. Thanks for breaking it down for me. These are all great points!

Gauthier said...

Here's an idea: Don't get into musicians & DJs. Chances are they're into themselves more than they'll ever be into you. (Also - what if their band sucks?) Date a nerd instead.

Fluffy said...

I don't usually put in a ton of time hanging out with any one person at parties (as in DJ nights) I put on. For me those nights are about playing music and catching up with everyone there I know. So I wouldn't personally use an invitation as a come-on type thing, just because I know I'll be either scatterbrained on people or focused on music. Doesn't mean I'm -not- into a girl but for me it's never meant as a signal, yknow?

elizabeth marley said...

...Couldn't you just ask the guy in question?

drawonthewalls said...

@elizabethmarley agreed! ...but I support @gauthier: date a nerd instead :D

Anna said...

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but so-called "nerdy" guys break my heart x1000 harder than musician-y dudes.

WB9sszR7z9p.4BTRO0tymQfn7TWT36H1 said...

If he invites you to a party or a show, it's doubtful that he's doing it specifically because he wants to hang out with you. He probably doesn't want to make you a groupee either, though. It's likely that he's just inviting you because you're a friend or a good acquaintance. Or, in the case of some parties, if he wants to keep the gender ratio decent so it isn't just all guys.

The only way to know if a guy is interested in you for sure, is if he takes out the time to actually talk to you and take an interest in you. Or, if he's shy or quiet, if you approach him to talk, and he enjoys the conversation and being around you.

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