August 6, 2009

Bonerkiller: You Are Not Funny In Person

What happened? You cracked me up a mile a minute online but in person you're about as funny as a parking ticket i.e. not at all. When we first started talking, you were like the Ol' Faithful of Internet humor; every time your name would pop up to chat, I knew I'd be in for a smile. Granted, your comedy thus far has been limited to hysterical one-liners and pasting zany videos into my chat window. But, the farther away you get from the chat window, the less funny you become. What false advertising! What a bait 'n' switch!

In person, you're rather bitter: You're not nice to our waitress, you didn't complement me on my dress, and you didn't hold the door open for me. In short--and you'll have to excuse my French--you're a dick. It's ok to be a dick every now at again as long as it's not directed at me, but an unfunny dick? Well, that's just not gonna fly. It's like (funny) night and (unfunny) day. What a drag.

As a head's up, you're off my buddy list, Buster. (Btw, that's the wimpiest threat I've ever made.)

[Update: Upon further reflection, I think that I was too harsh in this post. My real concern is the amount of social ineptitude displayed upon hanging out. That's a better way to put it. Regardless of what the deal was, he wasn't funny in person and that's the real tragedy here. I also think that my local grocery story not stocking Pudding Pops is a tragedy, just to give you some insight into how I classify tragedies.]

6 comments:

juliahays said...

Agreed, but sometimes they're not jerky in person, it's that they're socially awkward, and the cool, confident, funny side of them is apparently limited to online interaction only. So disappointing...

Anna said...

Yes! Maybe that's a better way to put it. It's more on an issue of him being socially inept than actively mean. Agreed.

Jon K said...

I feel like this post is probably more about me than I'm comfortable admitting haha

thesimplicity said...

I think being told this is my greatest fear in life.

miceonice said...

Off the buddy list :( *sniffle*

jaynesurrena.net said...

@omytodd

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