I'm gonna suggest you take a cue from Kid's hairstyle and do a fade on me. It's fine. Really, you didn't have to craft me an email about how you feel about dating me right now (more specifically, that you don't want to do it.) And, you don't have to text me saying, "Is there a good time we can talk?" Honestly, I'd prefer it if we didn't talk about this shitshow attempt at dating we've been trying to do the past few weeks. Personally, I was planning on just not returning any of your calls again. That's what I was thinking. Especially after our last date when we got in an argument about politics and then you snapped at our server for taking too long. I knew right then that this wasn't going anywhere.
I tried to communicate this to you psychically, but maybe you didn't pick up on it. I wish there was some document I could sign letting you know that I'm totally okay with you blowing me off but alas, this post will have to do. It will not hurt my feelings if I never hear from you again. I will still badmouth you to my girlfriends, but that'll be pretty much it in regards to my ill will. If anything, your fadeout would be a relief. I am looking forward to never seeing your name pop up on my cell phone and pretending we don't know each other should we cross paths again. Hey, the more you know!