September 28, 2009

Reader Submission For A Phrase We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "You Know I'm Just Not That Perceptive"

From our lovely reader Julie:

I want to stab the phrase, "you know I'm just not that perceptive," in the face.  It's his relationship disclaimer setting the bar so low on the outset that he's releasing himself from any and all expectations ever. That's some lawyer-type shit right there. He forgot your birthday? He blew off dinner with your parents? He didn't remember that he was supposed to pick you up from work? His defense is that you knew that he was just not that perceptive when you began dating him. So, it's actually your fault for having higher expectations. He pleads how he was born that way, just like how he has blue eyes and was genetically pre-dispositioned to begin balding at 28. According to him, his "perceptiveness"--or his lack thereof--is an immutable FACT, not a skill or attribute that can be learned or improved upon.
After I simmer with rage about wanting to stab that phrase in the face, I understand its true meaning; he's just LAZY and is ultimately not that interested in being considerate of me. 
Whoa. That's pretty intense. What phrases would you like to stab in the face? Drop us a line to hi@shmittenkitten.com and sharpen your threoretical knives. Huh. Theoretical knives. That'd be a great band name, wouldn't it?

2 comments:

Max said...

i like this phrase and use it often.

Chris said...

That's funny because whenever I hear a phrase like this I translate it to basically "You know, I'm actually quite stupid."

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