September 3, 2009

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Flat Pillows

I didn't realize his apartment was B.Y.O.P. (Bring Your Own Pillow.) The lump of cotton he tossed me was more like a thick napkin then the kind of fluffy, luxurious bedding I usually associate with the word, "pillow." I have to fold it over and bunch it just to prop my head up. This is horrible! How can he sleep on this thing? It's like resting on Olive Oyl's bony knee.

I won't even get into this sorry excuse for a pillow case. It looks (and smells) like an onion ring wrapped in sweatpants and buried under a couch cushion. Is that a cigarette burn on it? He wants me to put my face on this dingy scrap of fabric?

It's basically how a girl looks when she does a walk of shame: gnarly, funky, and unfit for public viewing. Yes, his pillow is like sleeping on a girl doing her walk of shame. And, that just makes me sad.


Elizabeth Treisner said...

I hear you on ALL of the "Things In His House That Make [you] sad." This is one of the reasons it actually makes me happy when a guy has a girl roommate - she will actually have things like conditioner and a hairdryer. And men wonder why we bring shit with us (and sometimes like to leave it there - even earlier in a realationship) when we are spending the night. I've even brought my own towels and/or pillows before. Guys just don't seem to get that it's not about trying to move in or take things too fast it's quite simply that we like to be COMFORTABLE. Another pet peeve of mine is how guys seem to rarely ever have soap on their sink in the bathroom. To wash your hands you have to use the kitchen or go into their shower and find the bar of soap.

Anonymous said...

My ex didn't have a pillow. JUST DIDN'T SLEEP ON ONE. What is that? I brought one over there.... then he broke up with me and I never got it back, and then I left town so there's no getting it back. I hope he thinks of me every time he goes to sleep....

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