September 21, 2009

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I'm The Sweaty Guy On The Dance Floor

You know, a lot of girls complain that their boyfriends don't dance. Most of the dudes I know would prefer to kick back a few beers in the comfort of a booth or a table and don't really ever feel the inclination to shake it on the dance floor.

I'll be honest with you right now: I'm not that guy.

I know what you're thinking. You love dancing too. When the dj plays "Material Girl" by Madonna, you and your girlfriends are out on that dance floor in the blink of an eye. Wouldn't it be great if you had a boyfriend who wanted to do the same?

Maybe. But you haven't thought it through all the way.

I dance at bars, at house parties, at weddings. And here's the thing: I dance hard. I don't think I'm necessarily the greatest dancer, but I don't let that stop me from literally dancing for hours straight.

Here's where the problem comes in: Long after you've stopped dancing, I'm not only still out on the dance floor dancing with complete strangers, but now it's 1:30am and I'm a hot sweaty mess. When the inevitable Facebook photos start popping up, I'm the one people ask about. "Looks like fun, but who was that gyrating, red-faced, sweaty bearded dude?" That was me. I am that guy.

Some people make it look effortless. Some people never break a sweat. I am not fortunate enough to be one of those people. But, I refuse to let it stop me. So unless you love gross sweaty dudes who dance shamelessly to Lady Gaga, then you might want to reconsider letting me be your boyfriend.

[Photo credit: Karen Seifert]


Unknown said...

I'm that guy too...maybe we've gyrated past each other at some point!

tomg said...

Thank you for making me feel like its ok to be that guy.

G+G said...

I still love you. Wanna go out?

Anonymous said...

i love that guy.. I'd rather have sweaty and gross dancing guy, then 'I'll just stay at the bar' guy

rich said...

preach on, phil!

Unknown said...

I am that guy.

Phil said...

I love how much love from dudes this post has received. I'm glad I'm not the only sweaty dancefloor guy.

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