October 4, 2009
Dopey called: He wants his floppy shirt cuffs back. Har har har blah. Alright, that joke was lame, but it's not nearly as lame as his floppy shirt cuffs!
I'm not a fashion snob by any means, but if a guy shows up for a date with his shirt cuffs flapping in the wind like a dog's tongue on a hot day, I would zip around on my heels and pretend that we never met. Just kidding. I'd try and hold my puke down FIRST, then I'd zip around on my heels and pretend that we never met. This "look" is an affront to my senses. The only guys who dress like this are recently divorced dads and eccentric millionaires on vacation and--newsflash--I don't want to date either of them. I even made a Venn diagram to really drive the point home:
The only exception to this rule is if the year is 1992, your name is Eddie Vedder and you are filming a video for a song called, "Evenflow." If that is the case, I might consider letting the open cuff rule slide. I didn't say I will, I said I might.
*Yes, that is a screenshot from David Brent's "If You Don't Know Me By Now" video. And, yes, he is releasing a dove. How awesome is that? Still, even a dove wouldn't endear me to those shitball sleeves.