October 12, 2009

Bonerkiller: You Are Too Nimble

There's this guy that I call Boy George because he's always down to "Tumble 4 Ya." He will use any excuse to kick out a cartwheel or roll out a somersault. He's always tumbling! He bops around like life is one big Cirque Du Soleil tryout. I once invited him over to my house and as soon as he walked into my hallway, he busted out a round off. Did someone send me a court jester-o-gram? I don't wanna date a guy who even knows what a round off is! 

He's always showing off his flexibility. He doesn't just touch his toes, he throws his whole body into it and buries his nose in his legs as he caresses his calves. Watching him bend in half like a melted Gumby doesn't do anything for me. My friends keep nudging me to date him because he's a really nice guy, but I have to confess that he's way too nimble for my tastes. As soon as his feet touch down on a patch of grass he has to do a handspring; It's bonkers. I like my guys to fall head over heels for me metaphorically not literally, so tumblers, acrobats, and gymnasts need not apply.


Allan Smithee said...

This has to be one of your best posts.

Anna said...

Awwww. Thanks, Allan! That totally puts a smile on my face.

evil taco said...

Half with you on this one. I'm a martial artist, so I don't see much wrong with agility, but this dude sounds like a showoff. That's probably a bigger problem. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Joey Giraud said...

Nah, it's probably just because she prefers the look of a male body in the usual orientation, not twisted like a pretzel all the time.

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