November 16, 2009

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Prop Their Sunglasses on Their Head

These guys think that they look like this; a rock 'n' roll rebel who doesn't give a fuck about speed limits, a bar's closing time and whether you have a boyfriend or not. But, in reality, he looks like an old, rumpled Cabo Wabo-er with a bug-eyed, wiry tiara perched on his head.

Guys who use their shades as a fashion accessory are the same kinds of guys who think Hank Moody from Californication is a badass because he bangs college chicks and has a dusty Porche. Don't these guys know that if they just folded their shades into the collar of their shirt they'd look roughly ten thousand times better?

I might seem hypocritical because I've propped my sunglasses on my head from time to time. However, I do it because it keeps my tresses out of my face, like a functional headband. Also, I'm a WOMAN. It looks cute on me!
    This look is only acceptable on a guy if he's a beach bum, a lifeguard, or a Hollywood has-been. Unfortunately, this oily bohunk before me is none of those things, so he should knock it off. Anytime I see a guy who looks like this at a party, he's usually macking on some girl that is insanely out of his league. And, if he turns his tequila-fueled attention to me and asks, "So, what are you doing after this?" I feel like he's one hard sneeze away from hurting either himself, me or both of us with his ill-secured accessory. His stupid sunglasses on his dome are both a hazard sign AND a yield sign all rolled up in one.


    Anonymous said...

    I made a bet with myself that you'd have a picture of Guy Fieri wearing his shades backwards on his neck:

    But you don't, and everyone wins.

    Lauren Grant said...

    ugh, my ex idolized hank moody and used to borrow MY sunglasses to put on top of his head. hence the "ex"

    bianca said...

    the "one hard sneeze from hurting himself" made me giggle out loud <3 dudes, unless you have short hair- don't do the glasses on the head thing!

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