November 15, 2009

Phrases We'd Like to Stab in the Face: "Hey Beautiful, Why Don't You Smile?"

Any catcall, whether it be a, “Hey, Sexy” or a more creative, “Oooh, Mommy” will irritate me. I mean really, where do you think shouting at me from the other side of the street will get you? It’s not going to get you in my bed. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but the truth is that it’s not going to get you anywhere near me. So when I hear your holler at me followed by the suggestion that I should smile, it makes me so angry that I could shriek...and then stab this phrase in the face repeatedly.

Who are you, random guy on the street yelling at me to flash a smile? Last time I checked, you certainly weren't my boss and oh, that’s right We've. Never. Met. I’m sorry that I don’t fulfill your requirements for girls that you yell at on the street, but I didn’t know they have to be pretty and they should definitely have some goofy grin plastered onto their faces, too. This request is outrageous! How do you know I even have anything to smile about today? Maybe my dog just died. Maybe my goldfish ran away. Maybe I’m just plain old cranky.

Get it? Sorry your toothy grin and nasty remarks don’t make me giggle and coo and that my smilelessness might have been your own personal bonerkiller, but you’re just going to have to accept that, Creep on the Street, and stop yelling stupid things at innocent girls like me.


Julia said...


The most offensive thing to say to me is to tell me to smile, like as a woman I should just be silly happy all day long to make me pleasing to your eyes! I SMILE WHEN THERE IS CAUSE DAMNIT!

Taylor said...

Oh, man. I get this all the time. From men, women, young and old. My natural resting face says, "eat shit and die," but I just can't help it, and I'm not medicated or a pageant queen so don't grin hysterically at all times. The most insensitive and insencere thing you can say to me. Makes me want to throttle.

Jeanette said...

When people literally want to rip there heads off. And then kick them. It. makes. me. SO MAD.

Anonymous said...

Amen. It drives me nuts when people I know do that too (although if they know me well, they know not to do it).

Darcy Veneziale said...

Thank you! Uh the most annoying thing about this is when a man (usually and old man, I attract them) tells me to smile my first reaction is to sort of smile (since I am caught off gaurd). I then feel weird and annoyed because I just unintentionally encouraged his behavior! Why can't guys just leave us alone? If I want your attention I will make sure you are aware!

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