Goddamn! *holds the pint glass up to the light* What is in this thing, mermaid's blood and leprechaun spit? It's delicious! This is the perfect bloody mary: It's peppery and spicy and boozy and perfect for sipping while we lay around and watch Will Farrell movies all afternoon. Well done, my dear!
Granted, your kitchen looks like a crime scene with tomato juice and horseradish specks splashed all over the counter, but it's worth it for this magical, vaguely clammy elixir you've concocted. Capers, fresh lemon juice, and Frank's hot sauce: it's all in there. As soon as I slurp it down, you bop back into the kitchen to fix me another. I could get used to this.
So, guys who make a damn good bloody mary, we tip our hats to you. Your take on this brunchtime classic makes your stock--and my heart rate--rise. *takes another sip, sets it down on the coffee table and smacks lips* I think I love you. (I'm talking to the bloody mary, not the dude.)