My best friend's fiance is a full foot taller than her. Because the average height of my beaus have clocked in around 5'8, she and another taller friend often tease me for ''dating short guys.'' At 5'4, I've never really given ''tall men'' or ''short men'' a second thought. That is, until a guy I'm seeing comments on my heels.
When you, dude of average height, make yourself involved with my footwear and decide to make it a negative issue about your height, it's on! Actually, it's off because I'm totally turned off by your height insecurity.
I've enjoyed wearing heels since the tender age of seven, when I used to steal them from my mom's closet and tap dance on our hardwood floor. She used to yell at me for doing that, but this is different! I don't need a passive aggressive dude grunting about my heels when we're out together. What's your deal?!
After a decade+ of being forced to see up people's nostrils, I'm on top of the world with an extra three inches under my feet. It's easier to scope out who has a receding hairline now, and I really like the important, clicky sound my tootsies make when I excuse myself from the table.
When I've primped for your friend's wedding /holiday party /a night on the town and I greet you in a smashing little black dress, your gaze should be fixed on my boomin' body, not my pumps. When you blubber, "Oh, you're wearing heels tonight?" you understand why I want to take them off my feet and swiftly thrust them towards a vulnerable place on your body, right?
What really gets me is that it's not some Alice in Wonderland-esque occurrence. I didn't suddenly grow 4 inches. And, it's not a permanent transformation. We're going to a dressy event and if you can't handle me being the same height as you for three hours, then I think you need more self-esteem or a shorter girlfriend.
Before you made this a stressful situation, in my eyes, we were both winners. How? This is in your favor, buddy: I'm easier to kiss when I'm taller! Technically, my boobs are closer to your face and I'm thrilled I get to pretend I'm 5'7 for two hours. Can't we call this a victory together?
So, yes, my track record states I've dated men of ''below average height.'' It also indicates that I've dated a ton of creeps, so go ahead and ask me again if I'm wearing heels, and make yourself two for two.
[Note from Anna: I had to toss in my two cents here. As a 6'1 woman who likes to date much shorter guys, I never wear heels. It's not because I'm concerned for their feelings either. In fact, I love how they have to stand on a step to kiss me. It's one of my favorite things about life!
However, I physically cannot wear high heels. I tumble over like a newborn giraffe. I have a theory: I have really small toes and I don't think that they are capable of working in a high heel situation. They're really small, like the size of homemade gnocchi. My small toes make high heel walking impossible. (Where's my Facebook group?) All you girls that can rock pumps, go on with your bad self. I'll be in the corner standing steadily in my flats.]