January 19, 2010

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: I Was Late Because I Was in the Studio

Really, any musician-speak makes me roll my eyes. Demos, laying tracks, jam sessions; I'm over it. But, the worst is the studio-related excuses a guy will rattle off to explain away his bad behavior. He didn't get my text because he was in the studio. He ran late to meet me for dinner because he was in the studio. He somehow forgot how technology and time works because he was--all together now--in the studio. Got it.

I know I hear the words, "I was late because I was in the studio," but he might as well be saying, "I was late because I got my Rollerblade stuck in a Segway" because both of them are the lamest excuses I've ever heard in my life. 

Listen, I've been in a recording studio before. It's basically a smelly den with lots of comfy couches where everyone mopes around preoccupied with their cell phones. You're supposed to be dead silent when recording is in progress which gets old fast. And, there's a big board with buttons that you aren't allowed to touch. Whoop-de-freakin-do. No one even talks to each other until the pizza comes and then they go back to their spots on the couch, fiddling with their phones. Fuck the studio! Fuck anything with the word studio in it, even Studio by L'Oreal. Fuck it allllll.

10 comments:

Phil said...

As a former musician, I can get behind this statement. Unless I was actually laying down vocal tracks, there is really nothing that would prevent you from returning a text or a phone call.

Next time you should just show up at the studio and volunteer to do some gang vocals.

Amanda said...

If someone actually told me that they were late because their rollerblade got stuck in a Segway, I would totally let it slide because I would be too busy laughing to be mad.

G+G said...

I've dated one guy who could never call or hang out because he was "recording" and another who would sext me all night because he was at the studio and had nothing better to do. They both turned out to be wastes of time, but what else is new?

pattypunker said...

we should be all "sorry i didn't get your text. i was in the fitting room." and "sorry i was so late but i had to try 12 pairs of shoes 'til i found the right one."

thesimplicity said...

Hey, some of us pay our bills through recording music! I don't think it's that much different than "I had to work late," except with more guitar solos and daytime drinking.

Jon K said...

I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I'm pretty sure "The Studio" is code for "the bathroom."

Anna said...

Haha, Jon! Did you hear that sound? It's the lightbulb going off over my head. Having you around is like having a decoder ring for dude-speak.

Anna said...

ps- no one's even mentioned how I took a still from Def Leppard's "Love Bites" video! That's one of my favorite parts about the post!

Nicole said...

hahaha! i mean, maybe, but it's less annoying than the guy who was an hour late picking me up because he "got lost in his house".

Fluffy said...

Can we just stab "in the studio" in the face? Unless it is Steve Albini's studio it's probably just -a- studio. And even then it is "Steve Albini's Studio" and not "the studio"

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