January 2, 2010

Surprisingly Not a Bonerkiller: Budweiser Beer Breath

In perhaps one of our weirdest SNABs ever, I have to confess that it's somewhat comforting to smell cheap beer on a guy's breath BUT ONLY IF HE IS AN ATTRACTIVE MAN. Disclaimer: this isn't gonna work if he is a busted NASCAR fan/ hillbilly/ carnival worker.

However, if he is hot and has cool tattoos and funny stories, his cheap beer breath smells like if all the wildest parties I've attended got together and created an orally digestible cologne. Perhaps I've kissed so many boys who've tasted like cheap beer that it's now a Pavlovian response to expect a good time? Who knows?

Like a pair of raggedy old slippers at my parents' house, his beer breath smell feels oddly comforting. Instead of whipping my head back in disgust when it hits my nostrils, I'm leaning in and not hating my life.

Who knew beer breath had that power? This guy smells like a Budweiser and I'm drinking him in. I can't believe the things guys do that I don't find repulsive. It's alarming at this point.


Jon K said...

Gross, Anna. Just gross.

Anna said...


harrison said...

I have similar feelings--and for similar reasons--about guys whose jackets smell like stale pot smoke. And I don't even partake!

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