Everything is going so well tonight. I'm loving this French restaurant you chose. I'm loving your animated stories. I'm gazing into your eyes imagining what our children will look like when I notice your hand wrapped around the stem of your wineglass.
Wow. You've got some ladylike fingers going on, buddy. They're so slender. And small. And pampered. Fuck! Now I can't look away. You basically have a Barbie hand. This is the hand you give handshakes with? It'd be like shaking hands with a little girl at a tea party! How did I NOT notice this before? I don't need a full-on Tom Selleck bear claw, but I'd like a pair of hands that look like they've hauled something off a truck before. The only thing you've probably hauled are cream puffs out of a pink pastry box.
Maybe this could be good for your career. Seriously, you could be a Palmolive soap hand model. You could turn over the letters in Wheel of Fortune. You could demonstrate how to wear a bracelet on QVC. You have a lot of options, I'd imagine.
Unfortunately for you, I cannot possibly imagine your hands on any part of my body. I just did a body shudder thinking about you touching my body. Those are the unsexiest hands I've ever seen! I mean, you have the hands of an Olsen twin. I can't...I can't...I can't do this.
I gotta go.