1. You called me up out of the blue despite the fact that we haven't talked in months, even years.I'm like the breakdown in the song, "Shout!" Now, waaaaaaaaait a minute. You think that I'm your back-up, don't you? I'll bet you think I'm just hanging out in your back pocket waiting to be called to service, like a reserve marine or a gift card to California Pizza Kitchen.
2. You divulge that you just broke up with your girlfriend almost immediately when I ask how you've been. Boohoo, I know.
3. You ask to meet me for a drink. Soon.
I'M NOT YOUR BACKUP! I guess I'm flattered that you'd keep me in your rolodex/ black book/ spank bank, but I'm honestly not interested.