February 25, 2010

I Feel I Failed To Impress You When I Ordered Such A Fantastic Dinner For Us

Goddamn, I FUCKING ROCKED at ordering this dinner for us. First, I suggested we get some MUTHERFUCKING spring rolls. Fuck you, these were FUCKING PERFECT because there were two in an order so we each got one. YUM TO THE MAX, FUCKHEAD!

HOLY SHIT I rocked it again when I ordered a plate of Mee Siam noodles for us to split because they were SO FUCKING GOOD! I wanted to GRAB YOU BY THE LAPELS AND KICK YOU IN THE DICK BECAUSE THEY WERE SO FUCKING TASTY. And, that vegetable curry should've BLOWN YOUR FUCKING MIND, it was so fucking fantastic. IN YOUR FACE, EMPTY PLATES, BECAUSE YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING EMPTY. BOO-YAH!

Then, when I suggested that we get some fancy gelato around the corner you should've FLIPPED YOUR SHIT because that was the perfect counterbalance to a such a SPICY FUCKIN' MEAL, you SHIT STAIN.

But, you didn't even seem to notice you FUCKING FUCK. Good luck finding someone who can expertly order a meal for two the way that I just did. I AM THE MUTHERFUCKING WORLD FUCKING CHAMPION OF FOOD SUGGESTIONS! AAAAAARGH!!!!!

*rips shirt off and flexes muscles*

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stop it; you're turning me on at my desk.

Anonymous said...

*high five*

Anonymous said...

i cannot tell you how much this made my day.

pattypunker said...

you can order my dinner anytime, anna! you so rocked it.

but i lost my appetite with that picture. i can't tell if those are intestines, gums, or what inside the mouth of that thing. you crack me up.

Darius K. said...

This is the best thing ever posted to Shmitten Kitten, and I mean that as the highest possible compliment.

Anna said...

Haha. Thanks, Darius. I'm glad you liked it. I seriously cracked up the entire time I wrote it. xoxo

Nick said...

I read, "I suggested that we get some fancy gelato around the corner" as, "fancy fellatio around the corner". I literally had to re-read it 3 times. I probably have a minor reading problem.

Diane said...

man, this post was intense! phew...

bianca said...

"I wanted to GRAB YOU BY THE LAPELS AND KICK YOU IN THE DICK BECAUSE THEY WERE SO FUCKING TASTY."

...we're not worthy!!!

juliahays said...

Hilarious! Kudos on a meal well ordered!

Vanessa said...

This has to be the BEST FUCKING BLOG ENTRY that EVER blessed the interwebs. But seriously, this read was what I needed :)

Weej said...

best meal and best blog post. yummy.

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