What, no flurry of texts at last call pouring your heart out to me? No grotesquely spelled love confessions that look like you typed it out with your knuckles, blindfolded in the back of a tractor? WHAT GIVES? Am I not drunk text worthy? Aren't I in your thoughts circa 2:07am?
Honestly, I'd appreciate it if you drunk texted me more. I'd like to wake up to your slurred emotions. In fact, to paraphrase Folgers, the best part of waking up is a sweet drunk text from the dude you like.
But, I gotta say, you and your responsible lifestyle are getting in the way here. You are depriving me of this pleasure! Stop holding your cards so close to your chest: slam some tequila shots with your homies and let those emotions fly (right into my inbox). Text yourself before you wreck yourself. Or, rather, text me while you're wrecked. Don't worry, I'll think it's cute.