April 21, 2010

I Love Love Love Guys Who Refrain From Adding Me As A Facebook Friend The Day After We Meet

No medal for Chewie? What the hell?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not adding me on Facebook the day after you met me. If I could give you a medal for your restraint, I totally would. It was a little touch-and-go there because you eagerly texted me after we exchanged numbers so I wasn't sure. But, you didn't add me, which was awesome!

I woke up the next day and peeked at my email through my fingers like I was watching a horror movie. I was like, "Eeeeek! I hope that cute guy I met last night didn't add me 'cause that'd be really weird." And, you didn't! Which was great. Totally great.

Obviously, I looked you up (and we have 13 friends in common. Yay for us!) And, I hope you looked me up too. But, you didn't do anything which is perfect. Two thumbs up. In fact, if not adding me the day after we met was a Facebook group, I'd "like" it! LOL.

So, yeah, keep that up. Wait a few weeks and see how you feel. Who knows? Maybe we can have a great online friendship and I hope we do. But, like Janet Jackson sang, "Let's wait a while." She was talking about friendship requests, right?

In conclusion, thank you for not adding me and I look forward to doing some light stalking of your profile and I hope you do the same for me. Okey doke.


Phil said...

I've been guilty of not waiting and adding the next day. I'm not very good at playing it cool.

Fortunately, she still agreed to date me.

Anonymous said...

If the date goes well, I'm all about a guy "friending" me the next day. Gives me adequate time to check out all those questionable pictures of him, and if there is a second date, now I have shit to make fun of him about.

Diane said...

I have to say, this is one of your most adorable posts, Anna! Loved all of it!

Anonymous said...

Agreed, I used to be all about "adding" to show my interest, but showing restraint is even nicer! OXO

Drew said...

Okay, this raises questions that have been bugging me since I started reading this blog (which I love, by the way).

Anna, what do you do about potential and or current boyfriends reading the blog? It doesn't seem like anyone who knows your name would have any trouble finding this on Google. Does it come up? Are any of your "Things In His House That Make Me Sad" from the present day or is there a rule you have, like you only blog about a man until a month has passed since you stopped dating?

To put it bluntly: do you ever wonder if you're scaring guys off? Or do you even care?

For the record, I think it's awesome you're so frank and I hope that you are essentially liveblogging your life to some extent. But how does it all work?

Anna said...

Drew, great questions!

1. It depends on the guy. Some guys have over-cared about the site and some guys have under-cared. I once dated a guy for almost two months who only looked at it once! One guy I was seeing would freak out at me and constantly ask "are you gonna blog about this? what about THIS?" It was irritating. He didn't last long.

Some guys have taken pride in inspiring posts and some guys I would never post about in a million years because it's just too personal. They're off limits. Ho hum.

2. More often, I've been making up posts out of the blue. They're inspired by two, three, or four guys I know. I try to blur details so it's never about one guy. That's my favorite so then I never directly bum anyone out. I also write a lot about what I see my friends experience so while it's not an issue I have directly, I observe it in those close to me. Sometimes I write about things my guy friends do to their girlfriends. I really draw inspiration from everywhere.

3. At this point, I honestly don't care if I scare guys off. Every once in a while I'll get nervous about it, but I remind myself that I had my heart broken a lot before I had this blog so I can't use this blog as an excuse if I get my heart broken again. I'm really proud of all the work I've put into this site, so if a guy is intimidated by it, that's his problem.

4. About 90% of the "things in his house that make me sad" posts are inspired by my one ex and he gets a HUGE kick out of it. We're very friendly so it's not weird and he knew that all of those things bugged me when we were dating.

5. I'm not gonna lie; it's weird to date guys now, especially since they have an entire published backlog to my neuroses, but whatever. I'm a loving, attentive, confident woman and any guy who gets to have me is gonna be a lucky dude. I just have to find him...


Anna said...

One more thing, Drew. Sometimes I'll write about a guy a day after meeting him. Sometimes I'll wait about a year. It all depends on the likelihood of me running into him and being confronted about it. Ha!

Also, thanks for your kind words about enjoying the site. That made me smile.

Julia H. said...

Cute post! The little dance that we all do about when to "friend" on Facebook can be a tough game to play, but after the right amount of time and bonding you can make the commitment. Just like how guys would "pin" girls in the 1950s, now they just ask to be our "friend" on 10 different social media sites.

Drew said...

Thanks, Anna, for all your answers. I'd definitely agree that any guy you choose is very lucky.

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