May 7, 2010

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Make Me Run To Cross The Street Before The Light Changes

Him: "Come on!"

Me:"Uhhhhhh, the light is yellow."

Him: "We can totally make it. Hurry up!"

Me: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" 

I'm jogging to catch up with him so that I don't get run over by the oncoming traffic thinking about how all I wanted to do was get smooched on this date, not squashed.

WHAT THE FUCK? When did this evening turn into the obstacle course in Double Dare? Do I have to find a flag up a huge nostril next? Maybe catch a rubber chicken in a basket affixed to my head?

When I agreed to go out with him, I didn't expect to find myself in my own, personal live version of Frogger. To be honest, this fancy bra isn't super-supportive. My boobs are flopping around like bouncy balls. And these flats were definitely not made for sprinting.

I thought about just waiting on the curb and letting him risk his life darting into traffic, which I should've done in retrospect. But, I didn't. And, now I'm running for my life. Oh god, someone just honked at me. I'm gonna kill him if I ever cross this street alive.


Anonymous said...

Shit, I'm sorry. We did this on our date in another dimension. I don't know why, I just always feel 'driven' not to 'waste time'. I promise next time we can smooch on the corner until the light turns green.

Anna said...

That just made me smile.

Akai said...

Alternatively, this is awesome when the roles are reversed and the girl is dragging the guy out into traffic!

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