May 11, 2010

I Love Love Love Guys That Listen to the Misfits

I first heard the Misfits in high school. My boyfriend played them for me when we were driving in his car.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"The Misfits. They're one of my favorite bands." He inched the volume up a few clicks.

"Oh, yeah. I've heard of them before, I've just never heard them."

He took his eyes off the road and looked at me. "They sound so romantic, you know?"

Romantic. Hmmm. I had to let that tumble around my head a bit. I'd never heard him use that word before to describe anything, much less a band from New Jersey that sang about werewolves, zombies, and horror hotels.

I bought their greatest hits album the next week. Although their image seemed savage, what with the devil's locks and skulls, their music was pretty tame with choruses that seemed ripe for sing-a-longs. The grittiness appealed to me; the low rumble of the bass sounded like it'd been dragged through dirt. I put "Return of the Fly" and "Some Kind of Love" on all of my mix tapes from then on. My boyfriend received their box set the following Christmas as a present. It was shaped like a mini-black coffin and it came with a limited edition pin that said "Fiend Club" on it. I considered stealing it, but I didn't. He'd notice if it went missing.

The first song I learned to play on my guitar was "Last Caress," so you can understand why I get a charge when a guy tells me that he likes the Misfits. It warms me up to him automatically. That's probably where most of my life problems generate from: I'd pick a guy in a Misfits shirt over a guy with a 401(k).

Generally speaking, your average Misfits fan:
  • looks lumpy in a suit
  • has daydreamed about having a wedding on Halloween
  • owns one hoodie that he wears all the time and it smells like what could only be described as "sugared armpit"
  • has had the same summer "look" for almost 15 years (it's cargo shorts and a band t-shirt)
  • actively posts on messageboards
  • gets excited when the total due is $1.38
  • is terrified of women, yet always seems to have a girlfriend
  • has the eating habits of a teenage girl with PMS i.e. lots of fried foods and sweet treats
  • still subscribes to skateboard magazines
  • doesn't dance AT ALL unless he's wasted
  • still has a healthy collection of VHS movies collecting dust in his house
  • has at least one tattoo of a monster
But, I still love Misfits fans. I probably always will. Here, let's listen to a song.


dani said...

LOVE and agree with this post! its my boyfriend now :) but it has to be danzig, not the new stuff. i havent heard any new stuff i cared for. yay misfits!

Simone said...

You and me got the same taste in the menfolk. Loved this post!

Anna said...

Thanks, you guys. xoxo

jimmy said...

alright, that's it! anna, i don't know if the posts on this site reflect 1% of the women - in where the hell are you, philly? - or an overwhelming majority, but either way, i'm fucking moving.

i just have to stop reading this damn site, it's depressing me...

Anna said...

Jimmy, I'm blowing you a kiss from, yes, Philly.

Brett said...

page from my zine

my mirrors are black for you,

Anna said...

Brett, thanks for posting that! I really enjoyed the read.


Melissa said...

I've got to go with Saturday Night, but other than that I WHOLE-heartedly agree. I love the Misfits and I have a HUGE weakness for guys who love the Misfits.

Anonymous said...

anna, are you working on a novel? some of your posts, like this one and the recent frogger one, have a nice economy and rhythm. I hope you are, and I'll be one of the first in line!

xkatzelmacherx said...


Anonymous said...

This is funny because I was introduced to the Misfits the same way about 10 years ago when I was 17 and my then boyfriend was 22. I had always been a Danzig fan (as both of my parents weened me on it from a babe as well as bands like Metallica) but I never had the chance to listen to them. He had a cassette in his car and I said, "Woah, who is this?" he then told me that it was the Misfits and let me borrow his box set so I could burn copies for myself. I have tried getting all future boyfriends to like them and if they don't, I lose interest in them. Funny how the Misfits can change a life! I agree with Dani that it HAS to be Danzig era Misfits only!

Ezra Blum said...

OMFG, marry me.

Jes said...

I am now listening to them and I clearly understand why everyone has a Misfits tee. :) Thanks.

Evil said...

Aww... if only there were more people in the world like this, it would be a better place for us.

All I can really add now is: Give into what you cannot fight, walk among us!

Anonymous said...

Hey I don't care if its Danzig or Graves as long as its not Only. One addition a Tru fan had played in a cover band or off shoot of said style I.e. horror punk

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