June 7, 2010

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Make Me Watch Fantastic Planet

Oh man, I hate this movie. If you've never heard of it, it's an animated French film that's a surrealistic adventure and zzzzzzzzzz. I can't even describe this movie without falling asleep. And, I couldn't watch this YouTube trailer without wanting to punch my computer monitor. Seriously, that's how angry this film makes me.

But--I swear to god--it seems that every two-bit film student I've ever hung out with has tried to make me watch it with him. It's like they all read the same dating manual that says we have to watch this on our fifth date when they've run out of ideas of where to take me.

"But, I hate it!" I'll protest. "It's just terrible! It's boring. It's weird. It makes me want to claw my own eyes out. I'd rather do ANYTHING than watch this movie. I'd rather clip my father's toenails than watch it. I'd rather watch Ernest Goes to Jail than watch this. Come on."

"Well, you have to be on drugs to properly enjoy it," he'll say, like that's a gamechanger.

"No amount of drugs in the world will make this movie appeal to me. Can't we just watch Back to the Future again or something?" He'll roll his eyes at me but whatever. Fantastic Planet cinemaniacs have gotta buzz off.

9 comments:

lizzzygirl said...

maybe I'm a super nerd or maybe I just want to know what happens to that animated character in what seems to be a land of diamonds, but I'm NOW into it and want to watch freaking Fantastic Planet!?! i'll test our your theory this weekend and see if I can up my cool factor by asking guys if they have seen this movie.....:)

Anonymous said...

this looks like the French version of The Wall. And i really hated the wall. Sorry, Floyd fans, but there are not enough drugs in the world to make me give that a second try. Don't give in Anna, back to the future rules.

Anonymous said...

I went to film school and have never seen or heard of this movie. It looks awful and would probably make me vomit, like that time in fourth grade when the teacher put on old episodes of Doctor Who while we were eating lunch.

Al said...

There is no need to bring Ernest into this, god rest his hilarious soul.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see it once. No more, no less.

jimmy said...

I love it when you hate the things that everyone says they love simply because it's somehow accepted as cool. Does that makes sense? It's like the Ramones, get over it people, that band fucking sucks.

Timothy said...

Ha. I'll own up to enjoying this film.

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I'll fill up our Netflix queue with pretentious art-house films.

Anonymous said...

I dont understand why sometimes the shittiest films win prices. A date once made me watch Million Dollar Baby. Clicheed, racist piece of crap. I hate being forced to finish watching whole movies, when I wanna stop watching like halfway through.

Oh, so you still want sex tonight? How about you go watch Million Dollar Baby again and I leave? :-)

Anonymous said...

this film = awesome.
the ramones = double awesome.

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