June 22, 2010

I Love Love Love Guys With Velcro Wallets

At the end of our first date, I went to take out my wallet when the bill came. (I never assume anything when the check comes.)

"No, please. I've got it," he said. He put his hand up as if he was saying, "Put that wallet away, lady. I'm taking care of you tonight."

I smiled. As I put my wallet back in my purse, he whipped his out from his back pocket. To my delight, he produced a raggedy cloth wallet. How unpretentious! How simple! It even made that tell-tale screeeeech sound as he pulled the velcro apart to dig out his cash. My heart did a cartwheel.

I'm sure he's had it forever. You can tell because it's slightly curved from years of clinging to his ass. It was like a worn-in baseball glove, totally molded to his body. He probably got it in Chinatown for $2. Thrifty AND stylish!

And, it was thin: cash, credit cards, and air THAT'S IT. No stray scraps of paper. No receipts. No Subway club cards. No expired lotto tickets. This baby was a lean mean wallet machine. If it was a police officer, it would probably say things like, "Just the facts, Ma'am" or "Move it along folks, nothing to see here." If this wallet drank coffee, it'd take it black. If it drank whiskey, it'd drink it neat. No frills, no fuss. I can respect that.

Bravo, my dear. Bravo.


Anonymous said...

Running out of things to write about, much?

Anna said...

i've been thinking about this one for a while. This guy just confirmed it.

dani said...

i liked this post! i hate when dude wallets are 50lbs. its like george from seinfeld, its going to explode!

believe me anonymous, we are women. we can never run out of things to talk about when it comes to men, dating and all the fun stuff in between

Lora said...

I too am a velcro wallet fan. it reminds me of my 8th grade trapper keeper!

Anonymous said...

this post made me sad. i am a velcro wallet dude. correction, i was a velcro wallet dude until it was stolen from me in a down and out city mcdonalds. that was my moms wallet when she was in high school for christ's sake! the velcro was so worn in came out about an inch. i loved that wallet. it was brown. it was wonderful. it had curved edges from having it forever. if i had the ability to, i would cry. thanks for giving me the memory.

Anonymous said...

what about minimal, stylish money clips? Not the gaudy guido ones. Think stylish handmade Henri David money clips....I carry one and it never lets me down. Keeps the ass bulge away.


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