June 23, 2010

Surprisingly Not a Bonerkiller: Mild Body Odor On My Dude

From our reader Colleen, who doesn't mind gettin' a whiff of that funk, that sweet, that nasty, that gushy stuff. (Ew, I just grossed myself out a little bit. THANKS A LOT, RICK JAMES!):
Johnny Depp just LOOKS like BO
I once dated a guy who never had any body odor. Ever. Which is pretty weird, don't you think? It's kind of a like a guy who doesn't cast a shadow; clearly there's something missing from his soul, some element in the person that keeps him from getting BO and maybe also, I don't know, allows them to kill kittens without feeling remorse.

I won't deny it: I love a little bit of stink. I've been known to surreptitiously take a deep breath near my beau's pits, especially on steamy summer days. I love it is because every guy smells a little different. It's like his fingerprint.

Also, smells seem to evoke memories and emotions more than anything else. So picking up his unwashed t-shirt and inhaling his eau de parfum immediately whisks me away to memories of our first dates.

Once, a boyfriend of mine went away for a week but accidentally left a t-shirt he'd worn at my place. Instead of throwing it in the wash like I normally would, I put that puppy on every night for the rest of the week. And I won't lie, the first thing I did was put my nose all over it and take a deep breath. Ahhhhh.
I just googled "smelling an armpit" to find a photo for this. I wouldn't recommend doing that. Learn from my mistakes, people.

It's funny: I've been known to get pissed off if a guy doesn't smell like anything. How can both his body and clothes smell like nothing? Does he wash his clothes in baby tears? Is he a hologram? Are we on the holodeck on the Starship Enterprise? Is Whoopi Goldberg gonna serve me a drink at the Ten-Forward? SO MANY QUESTIONS!


excruciatingly said...

But...how would HIS smell NOT offending YOU avoid killing his boner? Wouldn't he remain erect regardless of your feelings about his stench?

Anonymous said...

Funny you posted this. Just the other day I realized it was a slight turn on in the middle of um, fun time.

Elizabeth said...

Oh my yes! Agreed. I love when you get a good mix of deodorant and pit smell. My boy smells the BEST.

Anonymous said...


Thank you, science.

Anonymous said...

excruciatingly - I believe we are talking about "she-boners" not he-boners. or something.

teenie said...

i only like certain boy's BO - sometimes it's good, sometimes it's really not so good. that can be a dealbreaker... "sorry, I don't like how you smell."

Jenna said...

Elizabeth..YES! I was just thinking the same thing.

Anonymous said...

pheromones rule the world! i get BO from doing anything, even with clinical deoderant but my dude thinks its funny and is sometimes a turn on for him!

Anonymous said...

Oh I totally agtree on this one! And I do the same thing with my man's shirt btw! We're in a long distance thingy and nothing makes me happier then when he "forgets" a dirty shirt at my place!! I wear it like it's a relic or something! A man's natural smell is awesome and definately a turn on! I like cologne and stuff, but natural smell is much more unique!

Post a Comment