June 27, 2010

I'd Pay Good American Money For This Service

"Dudes on Demand. How can I help you?"

"Yes, hi. I'd like to make an order for delivery?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"Ok. Let's see. I'd like one order of Compliments. One order of Hand Holding. Hmmmm. One order of Couch Snuggling, small. No, you know what? Make that a large.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, I'll have one order of Hot Makeout, extra spicy. And, I'll take one order of Unprompted Foot Massages. Actually, make that two. I'll have one for lunch tomorrow. That should be it. "

"Ok. Name?"

 "Shmitten Kitten. The buzzer's broken so just call when you get here."

"Ok. It should take about 45 minutes."

"Great! See you then! Oh, and if you could toss in a side of Thoughtful Text Messages Right Before I Go To Bed, that'd be great."

"You got it."



citygal said...

I second that.

Amanda said...

If only.

Anonymous said...

I think that's called an escort service.

Anna said...

Yeah right, like an escort service dude would send you thoughtful text messages before you went to bed. Eh, maybe they would. I have no idea what they do.

Anonymous said...

Sure the send you thoughtful text messages. They want to be booked again. That's just what I've heard, of course. :-)

Anonymous said...

Why do I get the feeling that the equivalent service for men would simply be twenty different varieties of boobs?

Jess of citygirlsworld.com said...

Ohhhhhhhhhh this made my day. Thanks. It also made me hungry for Chinese and I think I only have manwhich fixings at home. Ironic?!

Post a Comment