July 13, 2010

Quick Rant: Stop Fucking Up Your Phone, Dude

From our reader Michelle, who doesn't understand why he can't just be a responsible cell phone owner:
I was on Facebook recently and received an "I Lost My Phone, Send Me Your Numbers" message for the bajillionth time. I can't tell you how many guys I've dated who have had their phone lost, stolen, or destroyed while drunk.

My phone is my connection with the world; calls, text, email, and alarm clock are all possible thanks to my cell and without it I'm lonely and miserable. No matter how wasted I get, my phone cannot be pried from my clutches. I've never dropped it in a toilet, jumped into a pool with it in my pocket, or left it in a cab.

So when my former boyfriends give me the aforementioned excuses for not having a phone, I question not just their priorities, but their integrity as human beings because what kind of person can function without a phone? So after I roll my eyes, I spell out my phone number in text and in all CAPS so they know I'm mad. Ruuuuuude.
It's funny that you seem to take it as a personal insult if a guy loses his phone. I picture you making a face like Michelle Tanner, mouthing, "How rude!" when you get his lost phone notification.

I understand getting annoyed if he's always breaking shit like the Hulk, but guys do stupid shit all the time. Afterall, this is the demographic that has paid money to watch Transformers movies in the theater. I'd argue that this is more of a lifestyle issue than a gender issue. I have a few wild child girlfriends who get new phones every season because they're constantly busting 'em up.

As anyone who's hung out with me for two seconds knows, I always keep my phone in my bra on vibrate. It's like incubating a baby chick: I keep it somewhere warm, soft, and safe. I always know where it is so I never miss a call. The only time things get dicey is if I forget it's there at the end of the night so when I whip off my bra, it can take a tumble to the floor. But, my bedroom is carpeted so no problems yet. *fingers crossed*

9 comments:

Colin said...

I never understood those Facebook groups. Verizon will store contacts for dumbphones, Android syncs to Google, and if you're on AT&T it's because you have an iPhone. I'd have to lose my phone, iPad, laptop, and Apple and Googles servers crash before I'd lose my contacts.

Rob said...

As for the bajillion "I Lost My Phone, Send Me Your Numbers" messages, I'm surprised how many people don't sync their phones with their computers (or Google, etc). I haven't had to re-enter a number into a phone for about 6 years now. New phone? Sync. Everything's there. I'm pretty sure most modern phones support this. It's not magic.

Ok, that's my nerd rant for the day.

Drew said...

I also think it's ridiculous to not back up phone numbers.
Those Facebook groups are just a way to get attention and see who likes you the most. I don't respond to them.

Leslie said...

I am a fan of ye olde cell-phone-in-the-bra trick but I met someone the other day whose phone broke and was not covered under insurance because of -- get this -- water damage. So watch those humid days and sweaty dance parties, I guess!

John said...

Even if you don't backup your contacts with Verizon, sync to Google/Gmail or create a backup in iTunes, don't people just do a manual backup list these days? Back in the days of monochrome phone screens, I had a simple Word document with the numbers of my contacts. Added bonus: being able to print up said document and keep it around the house as your own personal phonebook. Genius, right?

Michelle said that its former boyfriends who are creating these groups. Are you sure their phones are really broken/lost, and they're not just creating these groups to make sure you didn't change your number without them knowing? I realize that's a cynical view, but I just find it hard to believe anybody still needs to make these groups/events in 2010.

Maybe that's because for several years now, every time somebody invites me to such a group, I just de-friend them. No room for idiots on my news feed.

Citygal said...

Dudes who are careless with their phones are careless with life.

MRR said...

"My phone is my connection with the world."

What happened to the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and skin? I'm not just trying to be snide here: people get so caught up in modern gadgetry that they often forget what it means to be a living, breathing human being.

"I question ... their integrity as human beings because what kind of person can function without a phone?"

I question Michelle's integrity as a human being for thinking that a cellphone is really all that important.

Methmouth McGee said...

Old post/thread, whatever you call it, but "How rude" was Stephanie Tanner's catchphrase. Get it right. Fuck a cell phone. I question this blog's integrity.

Anna said...

"I question this blog's integrity" is the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say. Thanks for the laughs!

Post a Comment