July 11, 2010

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I Will Not Offer You Some Of This Delicious Snack

Lay off me, I'm STAAAARVING!
OH MY GOD, THESE CASHEWS WERE THE BEST GAS STATION PURCHASE EVER.

Normally, I'm like, "Damn, should I get cashews? Nah, not this time. They're too pricey." Seriously, it's like $2+ for a relatively small bag of cashews. Nuts are expensive. Usually, the highest level of snack I'll purchase is the large bag of Combos.

So to celebrate treating myself to this serious roadtrip snack splurge, I quickly wolf down the entire bag.

In front of you.

Ahhh...shit.

I'm sorry, but if we ever dated, I'd probably forget to share my delicious snack with you. Sadly, I wish this applied to just cashews, but that's not the case. You can add movie popcorn and the side of fries at dinner to this list as well. It's not that I don't WANT to share, it's that I forget. I slip into the "food zone" and start snacking away. Next thing I know, there's an empty bag that formerly held cashews in front of me and you in the passenger seat with that look on your face.

I feel like I'm not alone on this; I think it's a dude thing. I've never sat down with one of my guy friends at lunch and offered him some of my fries or said, "Hey, you gotta try a bite of this sandwich." It's just not what we do. My female friends and co-workers don't even blink at splitting lunch or sharing a snack. Rather than shoulder the blame for this, I'll go ahead and burden the entire male gender instead.

So, while I can promise you that I will try to remember to share, your best bet is to get your own bag of cashews. And that makes me a bad boyfriend.

5 comments:

Jay Frank said...

I had a friend call attention to this when we were working at a restaurant on the shore for the summer... "UGH! You boys never want to share your meals."
I'm going to blame some territorial genetics.

myli said...

My boyfriend does that shit with his Laffy Taffy -____-

Maggie said...

i am the girl version of this. i get legit angry when people try to eat my snacks, whether they be a friend, family member or sig ot.

sorry, but they're my snacks and i'm friggin' hungry!

Ichael said...

Sorry dude, but I'm not sure this is a gender issue. I love sharing my snacks and rarely forget to offer. Sharing is fun, especially if the snack is delicious. I want to share the joy of the snack as much as the joy of the music, movie, scenery, or what-have-you. But maybe I'm just being effeminate.

polianarchy said...

I'm with Maggie...GET YOUR OWN, GUH!

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