August 8, 2010

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Treat Their Sleeves Like Mini-Blankies

I'm sitting here calmly sipping my iced coffee, watching him yank his sleeves around like he's kneading pizza dough. He's pulling them up over his fingers so it looks like he has extra-long arms. What's with him treating his sleeves like a goddamn blanky?

He's gotta knock that shit off. I'm sorry, but his fingers don't need a makeshift slanket. What is he? An angsty art student? A nervous poet? Because those are the two biggest sleeve abusers out there. 

I will never take a guy seriously who burrows into his sleeves like his hands are shy groundhogs. Are they afraid to see their shadow? His arms look like two kids rolling around in a tight sleeping bag.

It's not even cold in here, so I have no idea why his hands need their own personal turtleneck sweater. I wish he'd just leave his sleeves alone like a big boy.


Anonymous said...

With a conscious effort (primarily because I hate developing holes in the sleeve cuffs of my favorite hoodies and sweaters), I have managed to get better about avoiding this in recent years. But the reason that I generally do it is because my fingers are prone to getting icily cold if I'm in a slightly chilly environment. Maybe I've got poor circulation? I'm pretty sure that wearing gloves all the time would be a bonerkiller. I would have to imagine that having the icy cold fingers of the grim reaper probably qualifies as a bonerkiller as well though. I think I'm screwed here. Bummer.

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