August 22, 2010

I Love Love Love Guys That Have Elaborate Secret Handshakes With Their Best Friend

We're standing by the pool sipping our beers when his best friend walked up to us. Wordlessly, they launched into an elaborate handshake that involved devil horns, fist bumping, and a move resembling jazz hands. It ended with a big bang-type gesture that involved some shoulder coordination and a windmill behind-the-back high five.

Without missing a beat, he turned his attention back me and continued our conversation as if nothing happened. "So, yeah, as I was saying, "Maneater" is totally my favorite Hall and Oates song. I don't care if it seems played out. That song is undeniable."

"Dude! That was the most amazing secret handshake I've ever seen." I had to pick my mouth up off the floor because I was in total awe. How long did it take for them to master it? Did they practice for hours a day like they're in the Jackson 5? Did they work out the choreography together or did one of them take the lead on that? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

"Oh, that? Haha. I guess." He shrugged it off like of course he'd have an elaborate secret handshake with his best friend. I mean, who doesn't?

"Seriously, you should teach inner city kids how to do secret handshakes like that and have someone make a documentary about it because you basically just krumped. At the least, you should compete on a regional secret handshake circuit. It doesn't even have to a recognized league, you should compete in an underground one where you'd have tournaments in abandoned warehouses or some shit. You'd battle other teams but then in the end come together to fight a common enemy."

He laughed, but I could tell that his wheels were spinning about how to make this league a reality. Or maybe he just wanted to grab another drink before the keg got kicked. Either way, this guy ruuuuuules.


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