August 14, 2010

Well, That Is Some Bullshit Hanging From His Rearview Mirror

What kind of grown man affixes something on his rearview mirror? What is this thing, a necklace? It looks like a beaded lanyard that an old woman would use to hang her reading glasses from. It's hard to ignore it because it keeps banging against the dashboard at every turn he makes.

There's no way he paid money for this. He must've found it on the floor and his buddy put it on his mirror as a joke. Tell me that this thing is a joke.

Where did he get it? Did he mug a Zoltar and is showcasing this chain as a trophy? Did he swipe it from Janet Jackson's face in the "Runaway" video?

If he HAD to drape something over his rearview mirror, I could maybe understand an air freshener. I don't know who cares that much about the way the interior of their car smells but whatever. I'd even understand if he hung a pair fuzzy dice. I could kinda see it if he was an old skool rockabilly guy with full sleeves on both arms and a bitchin' vintage car.

But this is a beige Honda and this guy is about as edgy as Blue's Clues. I'm sorry, but there's no need for car jewelry here. Oh god, it's like his mirror has a belly chain. It's like his car got its eyebrow pierced in 1997 and still wears the thing because it thinks it's cool. His car is basically Fergie from Black Eyed Peas. LAME.


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