September 16, 2010

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Are Not Lawyers By Trade Yet Have Represented Themselves As Their Own Attorney In A Court Of Law

Gonna be honest: When I found out that he fired his lawyer and represented himself in his lawsuit, it made me stop and reconsider my attraction to him. WHO DOES THAT? I feel like only crackpots and conspiracy theorists represent themselves in a court of law. I know for a fact that this guy doesn't have any legal training, so why on earth would he volunteer to do it? It's crazy! I feel like this is something Mel Gibson or Michael Lohan would do. Yikes.

I can't stop picturing him decked out in an ill-fitting suit, shuffling papers around, and submitting irrelevant objects as evidence. Maybe he objected to the wrong things at the wrong times or used legal jargon incorrectly. Now, I'm picturing the pinched, sour face he'd make if the judge announced that his objection was overruled. He's like Joe Pesci in the beginning of My Cousin Vinny (before he got his shit together and won the townspeople's hearts).

Why did he volunteer to do it? Did he want to say, "Your Honor, I rest my case!" out loud THAT badly? How can I ever take him seriously now? The answer is that I can't. 

On the plus side, finding out he acted as his own lawyer is one of the funniest reasons I've ever had my boner killed. So, congratulations, I guess?


al said...

If I ever have the opportunity to represent myself, I probably will. I look at it as high-comedic potential. Obviously the price might be high, but I'm fairly willing to pay for a laugh with money, dignity, or in the case of self-representation... both.

Anna said...

I mean, I could see this being something funny if it was the right guy and he's defending himself for something minor. But, to do this seriously just sounds insane.

Anonymous said...

You can sue someone in Philly for up to $10k in small claims court, which is designed and intended for non-lawyers to represent themselves.

This is a great way to get double your security deposit back from a landlord that is unresponsive 30 days after you move out.

dani said...

PERFECT PICTURE! are you familiar with bird law?

Colin Lenton said...

Did he win his case?

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