I don't know about you, but I was never a twelve-year-old boy. Because of this, I simply don't get jerkoff humor. Call it a personal idiosyncrasy if you will, but puerile jokes just don't get me in the mood.
"That's what she said!"
His first "joke" was on our first date. I generally consider first dates to be sort of a rough draft, so I let it slide. The rest of the evening was fine. I would even go so far as to say I enjoyed myself. I chalked up his awkward sex joke to a moment of nervousness on his part, right?
When he texted me to go out again, I recommended a snazzy '60s-themed pool-shark joint that used to be a bomb shelter. His response to my excellent taste in venue? "Pool, a game where guys use wood to knock balls into holes. Haha."I dated a guy like this last year. He would try to instant message me all day, every day from his boring desk job. And, he was the worst online chatter EVER. He'd write "lol" to everything I'd type and he'd carelessly misspell easy words, which annoyed me. His favorite thing to say was, "You've just turned me from 6 o'clock to midnight," which is a lame analog clock/ dick joke that wasn't funny in the first place. But, he'd constantly say it to me. It was like, his catchphrase! Gross. He didn't last long. RIP Guy I Went On Three Dates With Who Was A Terrible Chatter That Also Made Lame Dick Jokes, RIP. *tips my 40*
Of course, it's too late to break the date now. I showed up, looking like my fabulous self. I decided to show off my awesomeness by launching into a conversation on video games. I mentioned that I have a Wii. His response? "I have a Wii, too. Sometimes I like to take it out and play with it."
At that point, I considered throwing my drink in his face and shouting, "Do I look like I'm in seventh grade to you? Because your inappropriate sex jokes are NOT FUNNY." Instead, I finished my drink and left his too-drunk-to-drive ass stranded at the bar.