The one over there, with the red hair and the pleated miniskirt? You've gotta be shittin' me. No way. No fucking way. Fuck you. Drop dead.
Over there, by the speaker? With the leather choker and the black boots? Clearly, they're from Payless Shoe Source. Those shiny, chunky boots were a BOGO, honey. Okay? They must've been! She didn't pay full price for those. They must've been half off with another purchase.
So, you're telling me THAT girl over there is his new woman? Fuck off and die. There's no way! She looks like an extra on Melrose Place or some shit. She looks like she's auditioning for The Craft. Get outta here! There's no way he's dating her. No fucking way. After me? This is what he chooses after me? Fuck off. I don't believe it.
He could've had caviar and he chose Bazooka Joe. What an idiot. I feel sorry for him. He left THIS *motions towards myself* and chose THAT *motions towards her* I have to sit down. Her? HER? I can't believe it.
You know what? You know who I feel sorry for? I feel sorry for myself because I fell for a guy who finds that kind of woman attractive. That's some bullshit right there. Can we all agree on that? Oy vey. What a nightmare. I can't even--there are no words. HER? Oh my god.