Bonerkiller: Chronic Hair Fussers

Not to sound uppity, but I don't want a high-maintenance guy and his constant touch-ups every time we pass any kind of reflective surface is getting old. We can barely make our way through H&M because he's stopping at every mirror re-positioning his mop top. Dude! Quit it.
 
Honestly, I hate seeing him care about his hair like this. He'll study himself in the mirror, making sure each wiry hair is in perfect position. First, he'll tilt his chin down and move his head from side to side. Then, he'll lift his chin up, examining his hair from all angles.

The funny thing is that it doesn't look super great to begin with so it's not like making constant contact with it is doing that much, styling-wise. It's raggedy black hair that he hasn't washed in four days, just leave it alone.

I'm standing there with my arms crossed as he twists and preens his stupid hair every ten minutes. We have been walking indoors; don't worry, your precious hair looks exactly the same as it did five minutes ago. After about half a day hanging out with him, I'd gladly give him up to $8 to just toss a fucking hat on and call it a freakin' day.