December 27, 2010
Maybe it'll be thick and smelly, like Paul Bunyan's pubes. Or, maybe he won't have any at all; his skin will just be totally hairless and slightly damp, like a cat's nose.
But him, he's got the perfect armpit hair composition. Thin, wispy, soft: This is some Grade A armpit hair, my friend. This is God's armpit hair.
I wanna snuggle up in it and weave it into tiny braids. I wanna make a stuffed animal out of it and give it to a sick child. I wanna kiss kiss kiss it and whisper Laffy Taffy jokes to it and be best buds with that lovely perfect tuft. His awesome armpit hair is excellent news. Just excellent!