January 30, 2011

Pics and Vids: My Ultimate Boyfriend

Holy shit! I've always WANTED a boyfriend that would freak out everyone in my immediate vicinity. Sweet Talkin' Ken, you ARE the ultimate boyfriend.

Minor quibble: my ultimate boyfriend wouldn't A) wear a shirt proclaiming his ultimate boyfriend status B) his voice wouldn't sound like mine, only digitally distorted and C) his hair wouldn't look like a badger's taint.

Sweet Talkin' Ken, the self-proclaimed Ultimate Boyfriend

But, now that I know that such a thing/person/toy exists, I can only wonder what kinds of things I'd program my ultimate boyfriend to say. Right off the top of my head, I'd make him spit out:
  • You look amazing in flats.
  • Is this pop-punk? Well then, TURN IT UP!
  • Wanna lay around and watch reality TV? Cool, me too.
  • Go have fun with your friends. Just text me when you're drunk and want attention and I'll come meet you wherever you are.
  • Mexican food for the third time this week? Sure, count me in!
What would you program him to say? 

This lovely image was sent to me via my sister Sarah, who's always looking out for me. Thanks, bud!


Sarah said...

It says on the box that he repeats the phrases in HIS voice, so it would not be yours. BTW, you DO look amazing in flats. ;-)

Scarlettb said...

Things I'd have him say:

1) No, no. YOU have the last glass of wine.
2) Hey, let's lie in bed and watch Clueless.
3) I brought ice cream!

Penna said...

1) You need a ride home from the bar? I'll be right there!
2) Let's get chinese food, watch crime dramas all day, and try to guess the endings.
3) Your friends are awesome. and/or My friends love you.
4) Can I give you a massage? I know you work so hard every day.

Anonymous said...

1) do you want me to rub your back/feet/anything?
2) of course i'll drive to get you the gelato you love
3) ill do the dishes

oh this could go on forever, but has everyone seen the south park episode about the shake weight? kinda the same concept, as it talks to you...its on hulu. last episode from this season. so funny

Anonymous said...

"I love you just the way you are."

stroobie said...

1) My boss gave me two tickets, right on the 50 yard line. Want to come with me? I'd rather take you than any of my friends.

2) Can we just cuddle tonight?

3) You look so sexy in that t-shirt.

Anonymous said...

Yes, stroobie! Yes yes yes!! 50 yard line, behind homeplate, behind the penalty box, courtside....

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