So, it's a strange thing to meet a new guy while I'm out then try to explain to him that despite the male companion by my side, I am available.
It turns out that I don't know how to do this without sounding like I'm insane. I've been known to barf out entire paragraphs in an attempt to clarify the situation when really I could probably communicate this in one concise sentence: "Have you met my friend yet?" That is probably what a normal person would do.
But, not me. The more I talk, the more I feel like I have to explain everything. It goes on forever and doesn't make sense, kinda like this season of Big Love.
"Oh that guy? He's my homeboy. I mean my homie. My friend. That's what I meant to say. He's just a friend. A buddy. Seriously, we're practically siblings. He's like a brother to me. No one I'd consider sleeping with. And I haven't! Oh, god no. Really, there's NOTHING here. He's actually repulsive to me. He does this thing where he puts mayonnaise on like, everything and it's so gross that it makes me want to hurl. There's no way I'd date him. Also, his house smells like lentils. So, you know. Yeah. Where were we?"See? I SUCK AT THIS.