March 9, 2011

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Lack of Dental Floss

I knew it was a longshot, but I asked if he had any dental floss I could borrow. He thought about it for a few seconds which wasn't a good sign. If he was a regular flosser, he'd KNOW if he had any instinctively. He'd be like, "Dental floss? Sure thing."

The fact that he said, "I think so, let me check," didn't bode well either. He rummaged around his bathroom cabinet for a bit while I sat on his bed.

I considered my options. The best case scenario would be him bounding into the room with a blue box of Satin Tape. Satin Tape is the Bentley of the dental floss world. I'm pretty sure it's made from a combination of unicorn manes and Miley Cyrus' baby hair. Seriously, it feels like giving your teeth a backrub when you use it. This is my favorite brand and I hoped that maybe he had a box that he swiped from his parents' house or something.

The second option would be him walking into the room with the thin, waxy discount floss that shreds inbetween your teeth and makes your gums bleed almost instantly upon contact. Using it feels like you're asking your mouth to do homework on Sunday night when it'd rather just veg out and watch TV. I hate that kind, but I'd tough it out. It was probably a relic from his old roommate.

The third and more likely option would be that he didn't have any at all and that I'd have to get used to the stray broccoli shard trapped between my teeth.

He came back into his bedroom a few minutes later, frowning. "Sorry. I couldn't find any."

"That's cool. Thanks for looking." Floss request: DENIED. And, that just made me sad.

9 comments:

Andrea said...

Ugh, bad oral hygiene. DEALBREAKER.

Anonymous said...

Not flossing now counts as bad oral hygiene? What if my toothpaste isn't the right kind of mint? What if it doesn't have Scope built into it?!

Ashley said...

i don't floss. i hate flossing. it's annoying. i brush. that's enough for me.

Ashley said...

Though I do have those little floss/pick stick things in a bag in my bathroom for when I really need it... so I guess I wouldn't not have it if a boy asked for it.

Anna said...

I'm not passing judgment about his oral hygiene. I'm just lamenting how he doesn't have dental floss!

Anonymous said...

i learned the hard way why flossing is necessary.. after the dentist found SEVEN cavities.

Anonymous said...

You gotta floss or all that food just hangs out in there..www, and everyone should invest in a tongue scraper! Best thing I own

kim said...

wow how is that possible? i can understand not flossing regularly out of laziness and maybe you just have hard teeth that don't get cavities (or more likely haven't learned the hard way yet) but none at all? there are so many foods that just get stuck in there so does he just hang out with an uncomfortable food bit wedged in? that would drive me nuts.

Julia H. said...

Lack of dental hygiene = huge bonerkiller.

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