April 26, 2011

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "Are You Open-Minded?"

"I'm just gonna throw this out there because you seem like a cool girl. Ha! I see you blushing a little bit. That's cool, that's cool. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that. Let me ask you a question: Are you open-minded? I can tell you are just by looking at you. When I saw you sitting here by yourself, I said to myself, "That looks like one open-minded chick." See, I'm just gonna be straight up with you because that's how I am. I mean, that's what's what. If you ask around and say, 'What's his deal?' Everyone will tell you I'm a straight shooter. For real. I'm not playin'.

So here's the deal: I like sucking women's toes. That's just me. I'm puttin' that out there. If you let me take you out--which I want to do--I guarantee that you will have a good time. Let me take you out for a nice meal. We'll drink some wine, nibble on some cheesecake, the whole thing. I know you be lovin' that cheesecake. Don't even front.

Then later, if you want, we can go back to my place and I can suck on your toes. Simple as that. How does that sound? Good, right? So, can I call you? What's your number, baby?"

image via


Anonymous said...

What bar in Chicago did Quentin Tarantino try to pick you up in?

Allan Smithee

Ashley said...

I asked a guy if he was open-minded last night at the bar mainly because i was trying to get him away and i thought of this post and decided to try it out. it didn't work. all i got back was "i am very open-minded, are you?"


liza said...

so...are you saying you DONT LIKE your toes sucked? wth, i mean...i thought you were open-minded...lol

liza's been there, enjoyed that.

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