May 16, 2011

Things I'm Terrible At: Texting The Right Person The Right Thing

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Not again!
My best friend Jenna is always at the top of my inbox. The problem comes when I start texting a new guy and his conversation thread is one measly millimeter from my conversation thread with my best friend. On more occassions than I'm willing to admit, I've mixed the two threads up and I've texted my new guy something that was intended for Jenna.

Just so we're all on the same page, THIS SUCKS. There's really no excuse for it. I mean, a drunk monkey would probably text more responsibly than me. It's gotten to the point where I'll just email Jenna with what I have to say because I'm so paranoid about texting the wrong person the wrong thing. And, I'll immediately delete texts with a new dude because I'm afraid I'm going to fuck up and text him something unintended for him at some point. 

The worst was when a guy dumped me via text (classy, I know) and I immediately texted Jenna that I'd been dumped but I sent it to him by accident, making me look like a certified lunatic. I had to backtrack a ton and begged him to have a hearty laugh at my expense seeing as I can't figure out how to text the right person the right message. THANK GOD I didn't call him by his code name in the text. Could you imagine dumping a girl then getting a text back saying, "Squeaky-Voiced Puffy Neck just dumped me via text. Wanna grab a drink tonight?" You'd die, right?

Apparently, I've earned a college degree AND a graduate degree, but I am unable to differentiate between to two conversations on a cell phone. Frankly, I'm terrible at it.

14 comments:

Bitsy said...

I used to do this, too. But now I have a phone where I can use different backgrounds for different people in my messaging app. So, my husband's texts are on a blue background. My best friend's texts are on a pink background. Etc. Makes it a lot harder to fuck things up, unless I'm really drunk. In which case, I shouldn't be texting anyway, so I deserve any dumbass mistakes I make.

Anonymous said...

YOU'RE NOT ALONE, SISTER. gah. Shoot me.

samantha said...

http://wrongnumbertexts.com/

hahaha

Anna said...

That site is HILARIOUS!

samantha said...

I've spent the majority of my day reading it haha. productive!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh.... a few years ago I was dating this guy long distance and I saw him maybe once a month. He came down to Philly to visit one brisk March weekend and we went to breakfast, hung out for a while, then went to lunch, then a movie..... and I paid for myself the whole way through. I was a little frustrated just because you know... if you're my boyfriend and I only get to see you so much, it'd be nice if you wanted to give it that little extra show. Anyways I texted my best friend the sitch like "omg can you believe i just paid for my own movie ticket and lunch too!!" annnnnd I texted him, not her. Talk about a freudian slip. SO EMBARRASSING!

Anonymous said...

I feel like this is legitimately my life.

Laurie Ann said...

ditto to the last comment.

Ashley said...

he deserves to see the hilarious code name u made up for him, especially if he was douschebaggy enough to dump you by text!

Anna said...

Haha. Hahahaha.

tanniquewa said...

i was on the receiving end of a text (and picture) that was meant for some other girl. oh, the story he told to clean it up...

Mallory P. said...

My friend and I throw around the phrase "quit swinging your dick in my face" whenever we want to refer to someone showing off. Now imagine accidentally sending that as a text RSVP to a sewing party.

Ashley said...

I think I'm worse at this in g-chat... I have to check 1 million times that I'm sending "i hate when (insert his name here) talks about his gf" to my friend and NOT him...

Modern Haredi said...

I *always* text my boyfriend instead of CTA Bus/Train Tracker (Chicago's handy device for knowing when your bus or train is coming).

If he is by a computer he responds something like "Bus is coming to State & Lake in 4 min, honey."

Its sort of like when Kramer pretended to be Moviephone...

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