June 13, 2011

Bonerkiller: His Sucky Posture


I don't usually notice a guy's posture unless something is terribly wrong with it. Most guys are in the clear. However, there have been a few times when a guy's posture is so crummy that I have to wonder about his life choices. He has the appearance of a man who's never eaten a healthy breakfast, high-fived a teammate, or spiked a volleyball. Grow some posture balls!

His back is a quitter. It's like his back freaked out, told him to "take this job and shove it!" cleared its desk, shoved all of its shit into a cardboard box, and flipped the bird as it drove away in its dusty maroon '98 Camry blasting Motley Crue. What the fuck? This is unacceptable. Hire a new back! This back is a slacker.

And, his shitty posture makes me stand up straighter, like I'm trying to give his body a non-verbal pep talk. He doesn't have to walk like he has a 2 x 4 jammed in the back of his jeans but right now, with his back that slouchy and his shoulders that hunched over, he makes a deflated tire look like a freakin' Buzz Lightyear action figure. It's not hot. Please stand straighter. That'd be great.

7 comments:

jerricka said...

Ahhh yes yes yes! I have tried to articulate this so many times and failed. You read my mind and my soul.

Anonymous said...

Luckily, short guys have good posture, right?

Anna said...

Not always! It's an equal opportunity affliction.

Ashley said...

I feel like short guys SHOULD have better posture.... because a good posture can had 3-4 inches to you...

Julia H. said...

Better posture just feels good. It would be uncomfortable to hunch over constantly.

The Hunchback of Notre-dame said...

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me

Anna said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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