June 27, 2011

When A Guy Who's Already Hooked Up With My Best Friend Hits On Me


Sorry, dude. It's never gonna happen. Ever.

Yes! NEVER! Gross. Quit asking. I know you guys dated. I was there the night you hooked up, remember? Hell, I was the one who gave you advice about how to approach her. Ewwwwww, dude. I'm totally telling her about what you just did.


Now go away so I can forward her all the creepy texts you've sent me tonight. I'm sure she'll love the one where you said, and I quote, "No one will notice if we leave this party together for a few minutes. Meet me outside. Can't wait to get you aloe for a while." Cool typo. I assume you meant "alone." Well, I don't know what to tell you. I don't give a shit that you're embarrassed.


You should've thought of that before you came over here trying to make a move. Of course I'm gonna show them to her. She's my best friend, you nitwit!


Jake said...

Maybe it wasn't a typo. Maybe he just wanted to get you some soothing, delightful aloe. For a while. He must have the plant outside and needs to harvest the leaves. Fingers crossed!

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