|We're gonna get dolled up, yo!|
Men, here's what I will bring to the table as your potential date:
- I will smell good
- I will stand near you
- I will make at least three nervous jokes referencing either an '80s sitcom theme song, dialogue from Wet Hot American Summer, and/or Carrot Top's bizarrely muscular physique
- Remember my name
- Hold my purse if I'm posing for a photo
- Sit near me for up to three hours
- Laugh at a minimum of two of my nervous jokes
- Not check his phone constantly during the show because that would get on my nerves
- Alert me if I either have lipstick on my teeth and/or toilet paper on my shoe
In the meantime, snap up your tickets to the Philly Geek Awards here.
*Ideally, my date will be between 5'6 and 5'9. Come on, you know I only liked shorter guys, right?