January 18, 2012

Story Time: Which Celebrities Do Your Exes Look Like (If You Squint Your Eyes In A Dark Room)?

I'm immobilized on my couch in the middle of a gripping five-hour FriendZone marathon and an ad popped up on screen featuring Tom Arnold. Are you still with me here? Ok. Well, it occurred to me that Tom Arnold sorta looks like my ex which made me make the face on the right. Picture Tom Arnold in a black hoodie chomping on a slice of pizza while complaining about the Phillies and BAM! that's basically my (ex-)man. So then I thought about other dudes I've dated who've all looked like busted versions of famous people. Like, if we ever had a Lifetime movie dramatizing our relationship, I'd already know who could step in to play his role. (Naturally, my part would be played by Zooey Deschanel but she'd have to be CGI-ed to appear a foot taller and about six sizes bigger.) Thinking back, my exes have all sorta looked like:
  • Jason Schwartzman
  • Ryan Gosling
  • David Spade
  • Jeremy Renner
  • Fred Savage
  • Jarvis Cocker
  • Harry Potter
  • Michael J. Fox
  • Kirk Cameron
  • Colin Farrell
  • Al Capone from Boardwalk Empire
  • Milhouse from The Simpsons
  • Rick Moranis
So, I wanna know, what celebrity doppelgangers have you dated? Tell me in the comments!


charmaine said...

Ewan McGregor
The lead singer of matchbox 20
The skinny dude from the people under the stairs
A cuter mr. bean
Jim from the office
Currently my boyfriend looks like sons of anarchy (any of them)

Anna said...

I'd also like to add Charlie Day to the list.

flatlanderesque said...

had one that looked like Cary Grant.

Anonymous said...

a fraggle.
a lego man.
commander fucking riker.

Anonymous said...

George Lamb

Lisa V. said...

My ex looks like Shawn White. For real.

norah said...

John Belushi.

Katherine said...

Currently dating a Fred Savage look-a-like. So much so that my friends call him Fred.

Anonymous said...

A genetic mashup of Jarvis Cocker and Viggo Mortensen. But hotter. The hotter they are, the crazier they fall.

Amy said...

My ex-boyfriend was the spitting image of Danny Masterson (Hyde from "That 70s Show.").

My now-boyfriend looks just like Draco Malfoy. Not exactly Tom Felton, but definitely Draco Malfoy. It's tough to explain. But I'm not complaining.

Amy said...

I want to add that I've been told I look like Stephanie Tanner an embarrassing number of times. Appropriate.

Samantha said...

Michael C. Maronna ... you know Big Pete from Pete and Pete. Lol obviously OLDER. That was one of my exes.

Paula said...

Seth Rogen - so much so, that at times I can't watch/enjoy Seth's movies, because it is too distracting.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Rufus Sewell.

Anna said...

That reminds me, I have an ex who looks so much like Kevin Connolly (i.e. E from Entourage) that I can't watch the show without thinking about him.

Helen said...

Brad Pitt in Fight Club, to the point where every time I introduced him to new people they felt the need to pull me to the side and ask me if I knew he looked like him & my brother-in-law still just refers to him as Brad Pitt.

A much less charismatic Ryan Dunn.

Anonymous said...

- peter murphy from bauhaus (pointed out by my former goth friends, they were also distracted by this and couldn't imagine him NOT being that guy)

- there was actually a guy i called the discount matthew mcconaghey, because, well, he looked like the discount matthew mcconaghey

- justin from american idol (he had the same hair)

- no physical resemblance, but his friends called him quagmire, like on family guy. *shudder*

Sonya said...

A much assholier Brad Pitt.

Current man looks so much like Daniel Tosh that I can't watch Tosh.0
He also sorta reminds me of the 10th Doctor from Dr. Who (David Tennant).

Anonymous said...

Kevin Smith.

The dad in that awful Twilight movie.

John Stamos.

Mr. Clean.

Tom Petty

The Grinch.

Clearly, I am not attracted to any certain "type".

sarabot said...

I have definitely dated a Corey Feldman lookalike. And apparently Corey is SO my type that I later dated a guy that was a lookalike to the previous guy that looked liked Mr. Feldman. Whoa.

Anonymous said...

Eric Balfour and Jay Baruchel.

Anonymous said...

I've had a weird number of doppelgangers actually..

I dated a guy almost identical to the squirrely ginger from empire records. I'm talking looks and personality.

One who looks exactly like Joe Jonas.

A skinnier Taye Diggs

Tom Felton if he was pretty drugged-out.

Robert Downey Jr.

aaaand best for last:

The old guy from UP

Brittany said...

...Nicholas Cage...

Anonymous said...

The guy from the can you hear me now Verizon commercials, Ryan Gosling (dated him for that reason alone probably), Clive Owen (everyone told me that, he even had an accent!), Bam Margera, John Lennon dead ringer, Ron Livingston and currently dating a guy who kinda looks homeless. Not a celebrity but kind of amusing to me.

Anonymous said...

My prom date looked like Viggo Mortensen in the Lord o' the Rings Trilogy. Cant emphasize the importance of a hot 'tall shoe' date for these events enough- since you are sort of stuck with the pictures forever.

I briefly cheated on a boyfriend that looked like Aaron Eckhart with a marine that also looked an Aaron Eckhart.

My current looks has the facial features and body of young axl rose , i.e. not balding or fat, who is totally cribbing kurt cobain's look and wardrobe. What can I say? Damn lucky.

There is a Ben Affleck - Adam Sandler hybrid among the notables.

Anonymous said...

A blonde Tom Cruise

Erin said...

-Elijah Wood
-Brendan Fraser
-Cat Stevens
-Cillian Murphy

Anonymous said...

Mikhail Baryshnikov
Vincent Cassel & David Tennant.
...Two out of three ain't bad.

Anonymous said...

Will Ferrell and Colby O'Donis

Rash said...

Chace Crawford... it was a shame the XBF turned out to be such a massive douche, as I am now put off Chace for life.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend looks just like John Krasinksi!

Anonymous said...

Ryan Gosling... that's probably the only thing I miss about him... but it was a great quality.

Caitskies said...

I dated young Van Morrison for about a year, followed by Draco Malfoy. I've since moved on to Taylor Kitsch...but not without checking in with Lou Diamond Phillips.

Bethany said...

1- Young Mickey Rourke (creepy 9 1/2 weeks voice included)

2- Ashton Kutcher

3- Ralph Macchio / Joe Pesci mix*

*"My Cousin Vinny" still messes me up with confusion

Olivia said...

Paul Rudd (Main guy from I Love You Man)

And the bully from Mom's Got A Date With A Vampire

Anonymous said...

My ex, bf of 4 years, looks like Ryan Gosling with the lights on!

Other exes...

Aston Kutcher
Kyle Chandler
Tom Cruise

Matthew Lawrence

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