July 31, 2012
Accordingly, I was only interested in dating guys who were as obsessed with music as I was. I went out with a string of merch dudes, guitarists, record store clerks, deejays and sound guys. That was my dating pool!
My mom didn't understand it. She thought I was shallow because I only wanted to date guys who had the same taste in music as me. But I wasn't shallow: I was determined. Hell, if I had my druthers, I'd be with a guy even more obsessed with music than me. That way I could learn about new bands from him. That'd be so hot!
I'm not sure what it is about spending hundreds of hours poring over music, but it changes you. See, this is the thing about dating "normal" guys. They lack that experience. We don't quite speak the same language. Digging deep into a band's catalog, investing time delving into any kind of scene is an alienating pursuit. Certain albums provide the soundtrack to the most intimate spaces in my life. So, when I get together with someone who's spent just as many hours investing into the same band or the same scene, we understand each other on a certain, different level. It's a relief, in a way. That person understands a part of me that would otherwise be left unspoken.
I've eased up about the music thing in my old(er) age. It's not as important that the guy I'm crushin' on be into obscure '90s hardcore records or have an encyclopedic knowledge of the Velvet Underground catalogue. Besides, at this point, it's more likely that our musical tastes will diverge more than they will converge, which is a fact of life I've come to accept, like that I can't walk in high heels or that Bon Jovi will probably always be hot in a friend's cool dad kind of way.
However, I was hanging out with a guy recently and we started talking about bands and IT FUCKING RULED. We argued about which were the top 5 influential records of the '90s. He made some good points; I made some good points. Things got heated for a second when we talked about Nirvana's lasting impact. But most of all, it was fun. I miss talking about music with guys. I miss getting turned on to new bands from a rad dude. I miss poking around record stores and getting excited that a band's coming to play in a few months and buying tickets for it and planning an entire date around the show. Guys who love music just as much as me, I tip my hat to ya.
In other news, the August edition of the Shmitten Kitten Mix of the Month Club goes out tomorrow. Want it? Sign up here!