August 1, 2012

I Wanna Go On A Date With The Dude In This Stupid Hot Dog Commercial

I have no idea who he is, but I think he could be my soulmate. And, to my delight, his adorable, mustachioed mug has popped up in not one but TWO commercials lately.

1. This Ball Park Hot Dog spot:


2. This Kayak.com spot:


Without a doubt, those are the kindest eyes I've ever seen. He must be part-Berenstain Bear or something. I know he's dressed like a square in these commercials, but my intuition tells me that he probably dresses like a grad student; slightly scruffy and low-key. God, I hope he listens to good music. I'd shave off one of my eyebrows just to get a peek at his iPod.

I want to go to the mall with him and make him hold my purse while I shop. I want to rest my head on his belly while we watch "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" on his couch. I want to argue about movie trivia with him and tell him to look it up on IMDB to settle the fight. I want to wait in line for a sold out movie, get impatient, turn to each other and say, "Fuck it!" and go out for Chinese food instead. I want to mess up his hair. I want to set a goofy picture of him cuddling a kitten as the caller ID on my phone when he calls. I want to meet his grandmother and his childhood best friend. I'd be the happiest girl on the planet if he showed up at my door with a bouquet of flowers and a grin.

Does anyone know anything about him or know how to track him down because, not to be dramatic, but if I don't go out for beers with him soon I'm going to kill myself. He's probably married with a beautiful daughter named Cleo or Ruby or some shit. But, if there's an off-chance that he likes giant, loud, busty brunettes, I'm his girl!

[UPDATE! I just found him on Facebook and apparently we have five friends in common. What should I do?]

[UPDATE #2: One of the friends we have in common is a good buddy of mine from high school. This is on some real levels, y'all.]

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

His name is Mike Nelson, per Henry Dittman (the guy playing opposite him). Can't find more than that. Good luck.

Anna said...

THANK YOU! You totally just made my day! I will now go lightly stalk him and hope this post doesn't creep him out too much when it shows up in his Google alerts if he has a Google Alert on his name. Weeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha I love that girls are even hipsters with their taste in men.

"He's short and pudgy and homely! TAKE THAT DAD! EAT IT SOCIETY I AM A SNOWFLAKE!"

Also, everyone else got over mustaches 6 years ago.

Mallory P. said...

According to YouTube, he is "comedic actor Mike Nelson." I'm getting my search on to see what else I can find!

Anna said...

I don't like him because he has a mustache, I like him because he has kind eyes and dark hair and hopefully he's short, which are three things I like in a man!

It's cute that you're trying to attribute my fondness for short, chubby guys to some trend though. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Mallory P. said...

Crap, I was beaten to the punch! Still going to do some research. I like a good creeper project.

Also, shut up, Anonymous. Maybe those dudes are nicer than say, you?

Shawn C said...

I'be never said this before, but why can't I be that guy?!?

Shawn C said...

That should be, "I've". Now I'll say something I say everyday, mother bleeping phone!

Anonymous said...

DO IT! RUN HIM DOWN LIKE THE KIND EYED GAZELLE HE IS!

Anna said...

Legit LOL at the "kind-hearted gazelle" bit.

Meg M said...

I feel all kinds of good about this for you. Also, it doesn't even count as light stalking if the person in question has a stalker-looking profile pic him or herself (sez Meg, who might or might not have already done some light stalking herself).

Kelsie Cook said...

Keep us posted!! I'd love to know how this semi-stalking turns out.

But I agree. He is adorable. And eats hot dogs in style... that's a big quality I look for in a man.

ShyTown said...

Hahahahaah "part-Berenstain Bear"
There are so many Mike Nelsons! I can't find him! Is his profile private? (I hate that, but more and more people are catching on to our creeperness and changing their privacy settings. Damn.) Is he in a relationship? Does he have a dog? I am so excited about this! Please continue to update us with any new developments!
Also, I just wanted you to know that I am in constant admiration of the honesty and transparency with which you portray your champion stalker skills.

KP said...

Yay Internet stalking! What did we do before it? Hopefully he's as awesome as you think. :-) Good luck!

Anna said...

Thanks, guys. I tracked him down on Facebook and Twitter but I haven't done anything yet. I'm hoping he magically comes upon this post and contacts me if he's not scared for his life. I don't know. What should I do?

Anonymous said...

Let the friend from HS tune him into this post and let him take it from there.

Anonymous said...

This post... this post is amazing...

mo said...

Dude, just friend him on fb! Get in touch with him! DO IT

Anna said...

I'm nervous!!!! Ok. I'll do it. I really hope he doesn't think I'm crazy.

JillNikki said...

sooooo... whatever happened?! Did he accept :)

Anna said...

I just posted an update about it!

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