August 14, 2012

My 9 Initial Thoughts Upon Seeing This Picture of Celebrated Astrophysicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson

1. Oof. I don't even know what to look at first.
2. The hat? The soul patch? The sunglasses? The fucking vest??
3. I'm just gonna hover around his upper arm. It's so pale and thick and smooth. It's like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's peen.
4. Ew. I just grossed myself out.
5. The way his thumbs are tucked into his jeans makes me feel weird. I thought only apathetic 9th graders stood like that.
6. Look at his chest hair! I feel like I'd get my watch stuck in that wiry tuft by accident.
7. Is this a costume? What is he dressed as? A ren faire stripper? An overheated time traveller? A blind ranch hand?
8. He's married. Someone married a guy who dresses like this. I'm still single, by the way.
9. Well, I'd rather be single than sleep with someone in a goddamned celestial-themed vest.

[picture via]


Anonymous said...

- Harvard University (AB)
- University of Texas at Austin (MA)
- Columbia University (MPhil, PhD)
- NASA Distinguished Public Service Medal
- Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space
- research associate in the department of astrophysics at the American Museum of Natural History
- hosted the educational science television show NOVA scienceNOW on PBS
- frequent guest on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Real Time with Bill Maher, and Jeopardy!

- Not good enough for Anna Goldfarb, because, "I'd rather be single than sleep with someone in a goddamned celestial-themed vest." (...and probably because he is too tall.)

Anna said...

Thanks for typing out his resume!

I ADORE this man but just because I respect his professional accomplishments doesn't mean that I'd wanna sleep with him. This outfit is stupid.

Jenna Davis said...

i love you!

Anonymous said...

I think Neil found this blog...

Solomon said...

I like this picture because it proves that even 'Broug-ham'; can be smart, and still retain 'his' and in the case of females; their culture!

Peggy said...

...shallow much?

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