September 17, 2012

Is There A Word For The Frustration Felt When Your Ex Hasn't Proposed To His New Girlfriend By Now?

This is the best picture I could find
of a frustrated person
I've never articulated this specific irritation of mine, but I can't stand when my ex gets into a serious relationship with a new woman and doesn't make a move after a few years. What the hell? Is he going to propose or not? Does he have cold feet? Does she want to get married? Is she wasting her time with him? Is she disappointed? Does she feel pressure from her family to settle down and does she have to keep defending their situation to her mom? Does she sit at stoplights and see a couple walking down the street holding hands and spontaneously burst into tears because it reminds her that he keeps putting off their engagement? (I have an active imagination, I know.) What's happening with them?

I'll be the first to admit this line of thinking is bonkers. Marriage isn't right for all couples. And, it's not some magical end-goal everyone should strive towards. I've clearly internalized a million Hollywood romcoms that re-enforce these outcomes which sucks because when I stop and think about it, I realize how outdated this line of thinking is. However, it doesn't stop my brain from casting matrimony-minded judgments their way.

I don't know why this gets under my skin so much. It's not like I have a dog in this hunt. It doesn't affect my life either way if they tie the knot. I guess a part of me would feel better knowing that since our relationship didn't work out, that his next relationship is "the one." Maybe it absolves me of guilt or regret because even though we weren't fated to stand the test of time, he found the right girl for him and it definitely wasn't me.

Maybe by seeing them languishing in boyfriend/girlfriend status, he's a lingering question mark in my mind. Maybe we were right for each other and I messed it up? I don't want to think about that. I want them to fall in love and be perfect for each other and get married and then I can rest easy knowing that we were never right for each other and go on my merry way.

Does anyone else do this? Is this weird?


LakiSwirl said...

This totally makes sense to me and is something I was never able to articulate on my own.

Anonymous said...

Gawd, I wish I thought that way. I don't have many exes, but the ones -- or okay, ONE -- I still have feelings for, I find myself wishing for her and whomever she's dating to break up. I'm so deluded that I assume she'll realize that I'm just sooooo wonderful. I mean, how could she not?

Calgary Wedding Planners said...

I have seen some relationships which didn't last long. After the break-ups they try to be friends, but in that period both of them doesn't want to move forward in their life. Thinking about the Ex would never provide any benefit, so it is better to leave your Ex behind and enjoy your life.

cc said...


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