I'll sit on the edge of my bed and spend roughly four minutes typing out my plans in a reply. Once I push "send," a wave of sadness washes over me because I know that 9 times out of 10, nothing will come from this lazy conversation. He's not proposing that we go on an adventure together; he's just wasting my time.
And frankly, I don't like appointing him King of Plans and I don't like being put on the spot. What does he think I'm doing? It's a Friday night and I'm in my 30s: shit gets pretty tame. I'm not going to a wizard convention to ride a unicorn and drink a rare elixir derived from Leprechaun eyebrows and princesses' fingernail clippings: I'm going to my friend's house to drink cheap white wine and watch episodes of "Shark Tank" on demand.
I don't get it; if he wanted to see me, he should've asked me to do something. Why even bother with this haphazard barf of a text? Plus, I'm doubly annoyed because I'm doing all the work here. He typed me five words and I had to write back a paragraph. Fuck that.
Here's a tip: text me something I can say yes to. Wait, let me capitalize this so any guys who happen to read this get the message. TEXT ME SOMETHING I CAN SAY YES TO. It's not that hard. See?
This is automatically more interesting to read! If he's that hellbent on using a question mark in a text to me, please, for the love of God, make it something I can say yes too. I can't believe it's 2012 and not only are Hoverboards not a thing yet, but guys still can't figure out what to text a girl they've met once and are sort of interested in spending time with.
- "Want to go to the park on Saturday and secretly drink margaritas?"
- "Want to see Argo?"
- "Want to grab pho sometime this week?"